The amazing power of lowering your expectations!
That thing that has been bugging you lately…
That thing that one person does all the time that drives you bat-shit crazy...
That thing you are constantly worried about…
Ask yourself this...
Why Does It Matter?? In 10, 15, 20 Years… will it EVEN matter….
NOOOOOPE! Sure won’t!!!
Wouldn’t that be a great superpower??? Only caring about the things that really matter? WOW – how AMAZING would that be?!?
The guy that cuts you off in your car… no worries!
The lady that swoops in and steals your parking spot… that’s no big deal at all!!
Your spouse forgets, once again, to do that one thing you’ve asked 1,000 times… Oh WELL!
Guess who gets the benefit of that kind of lowered expectations?? YOU!!! That’s it!! We actually benefit from lowering our expectations and really assessing what matters.
The secret to happiness is lower expectations!
Here is an incredible quote for you to ponder...
“Happiness depends not on how well things are going but whether things are going better or worse than expected." ~ Dr. Robb Rutledge
Here is a short summary of a personal example...
Early on in our relationship... Sharon would roll in late from work all the time!! I would get so mad... steaming mad! I carried a lot of 'stories' about people who are late not having any respect for others... yada, yada! I couldn’t ‘control how mad I would get… it drove me nuts!
Over time I changed my expectations (I had to... because I didn't want to leave the relationship and she wasn't changing her ways anytime soon) So, I simply decided to lower my expectations and not expect her to be home exactly when she said she would be. I have learned to find joy in being home alone… I can turn the TV off (for a little longer) – I can work / read / whatever – just a little longer. It is kinda awesome now!
Please don’t confuse this with lowering your standards…
Some of you may be saying "Well, geez Monica... why should I lower my expectations of other people? Shouldn't I expect others to show up as I show up?"
Nope... that is the confusing part...
Standards are a more effective way of exercising control... STANDARDS solve problems.
You are in a relationship with someone that is not behaving as you would like them to... set a STANDARD in your life. Example - Once someone lies to me a 3rd time... I leave the relationship.
You feel like others are taking advantage of your kindness... set a STANDARD in your life. Example - once a friend shows up a 2nd time as untrustworthy - I leave the friendship.
See the difference... you are not trying to change them... you are not trying to get them to show up in a different way... you are simply implementing your standards. If they want to meet your standards then - so be it... if they don't - uh buh bye!
Set a standard to invite only things into your life that you want. Accept no less.
The real challenge lies in this… you may desire to raise your own personal standards and that may involve the need to change your environment. Friends, co-workers, etc…
Remember, you get what you tolerate.
So, which expectation can you reset today?
Try it... I think you just might like it!
Shine on,
Monica
